30 May 2011

Day 147-151 Two down - two more to go...then B-Day

Yes, I've done a couple more solo 5km runs. It's still not "easy" - however, I am determined to run the full circuit each time now that I know I can do it. The music keeps my interest up when I feel like flagging it. And that home stretch is always a buzz! I look forward to that each time! I still haven't cracked under the 40 minute mark though. I'm sure I could do it if I stuck to the flat road route instead of making the ups and downs of the dunes part of my circuit. And I may do that tomorrow just to tick that off my list. Then throw the watch away for awhile. Especially for the Birthday Run - I think that day I just want to have some fun with the running and anyone who comes along and not worry about the speed. I'll see how I feel about that on the day.

I'm missing my running buddy - Bruce has pulled a muscle in his calf and is nursing that back to health. He's been training in the new Vibram 5-Finger shoes for "bare foot running". They take some getting used to and he may have pushed himself a bit too long and hard in his usual enthusiastic way. He's hoping to be ready to run with me by Saturday but it could be touch and go. When I suggested that we walk the circuit so we could do it together he said NO WAY!! You run girl! And he'll meet me near the end so we can come in together. Or...? We'll see how it all unfolds.

Two things I am looking for on the day that would make running easier: A clear blue sun-shiny sky. And NO earthquakes! 

If there ever was an excuse for pulling out of something and not getting through to the end, it is these never ending bloody earthquakes/aftershocks. They keep shaking us around at any time of the day or night to set off intense adrenalin rushes that make carrying on or going back to sleep hard. Our ground continues to liquify to further sink our houses and roads and we remain barred from entry to our once beautiful and now thoroughly "munted" city. It continues to be very distressing for me - I tell myself to just get over it and get on with life. But my experience on that day of the really big quake in February did traumatise me and continues to affect my day to day behaviour and thinking.

When I finally accepted that the effects of this trauma were not easing up as quickly as I expected, I decided to get some help. It took me awhile to reach out cause I'm usually the helper, not the helpee! For a few weeks now I've been having regular massage and energy balancing sessions (great for my running legs and feet too!)  I've also learned some new grounding and stabalizing exercises. And I'm so pleased that my Pilates classes were able to start up again once our venue was given the safety all clear. So that's where you'll find me on Friday mornings. There's lots more healing modalities on offer out there and I'll be finding and regularly using ones that suit me from now on.

So I've gradually used the earthquake experience to galvanise me into action ie. running, rather than rolling over and giving up. Well, the real truth is that the first week I was too afraid to go far from the house! The next week, when I went out running, I carried all my emergency gear with me in case I needed to make a dash for higher ground. The tsunami in Japan? Well, I was paralyzed with fear (we live by the beach!) and didn't sleep for a week. We escaped to Hanmer Hot Springs to give me a break - and stayed an extra couple of nights till I could bring myself to return "home". We had agents in to see about either selling or renting our house and leaving the area and I've been spending time getting the house de-cluttered and looking really good and "ready" for new owners. However, as the months have passed I've realised that nothing is going to happen quickly - the whole city is in limbo as we await the rebuild decisions. Instead, I have made myself ultra prepared for emergency and/or evacuation which in turn helps me relax. I'm always ready, which allows me to focus on other things. Neat little paradox eh?!

Judy Thoughts: I think I've said it all for now! All I need to do now is focus on 2 more training runs (Tuesday and Thursday) and then have fun on my birthday (Saturday).

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